ADHD and Anxiety

So why has it been so long since my last blog post, you may ask. Well, the answer may seem simple but for me, it’s completely complicated. As I’ve discussed previously within other blog posts I currently see a therapist to talk through my anxiety and ways to help cope with it. However, while speaking with the therapist the idea was brought up that I may also have ADHD which affect more adults then you’d realize. Roughly 10 million adults in the US live with Adult ADHD. That is 4 percent of the US population of adults are believed to have ADHD and of that 4 percent, only 20 percent of them have been diagnosed and treated for it.

Now ADHD can be attributed to multiple different factors in adults and affects each adult differently. ADHD can cause a lack of focus and organization to restlessness. ADHD can also be a main cause for adults with anxiety. Growing up I always knew I learned differently than others in my classes. I couldn’t read as fast as them or when called on in class I rarely knew the answer to the question because I wasn’t paying attention. I was in resource classes (special education) up until my freshman year of high school.

For a child, having to leave a classroom at a specific time to go learn at a slower pace can truly have an effect on a child. When I had to leave class to go to a “special” room just so I could get the extra help that I needed, I could feel the eyes of the other children judging me. I truly felt stupid during that time. I couldn’t understand why I was like everyone else. It was hard for me to comprehend what I was going through millions of other children were as well.

Looking back I’m glad that I was in those courses because they helped me with my determination to succeed and grow as a person. Like I said earlier, by the time I was in high school I no longer needed to be in resource courses. I was able to work hard and achieve what I wanted. However, my days in high school and college were over it was easy for me to lose track of that determination to succeed. At that time I thought I had achieved what I wanted to and now I’m done. However, I should have set a new goal for myself and didn’t. Because of this I’ve grown complicit in my procrastination and lost focus more times than I’d care to admit.

Lately, I’ve noticed a big increase in my lack of attention to things. I find it easier and easier to drift away and procrastinate. That is the reason for just a long break in between my posts. I’m truly sorry for how long it has taken me to write another one. I promise that now that I am aware of what is going on with my lack of attention I will continue to work on it just as I did when I was younger. I will continue to grow and continue to better myself. Just as I hope you will continue to do for yourself.

Help yourself and help others. Do whatever you can and most importantly take the time for yourself and your loved ones. Don’t give up and let anxiety or some other disorder bring you down. Own it and grow with it. Find the good and push away the bad. Focus on what’s important to you and not what’s worrying you.

Just know that you are strong and you are loved. There are so many people here for you. I am one of them. If you have any questions or you just want someone to talk to please reach out to us through the chat portal on our website or feel free to just drop us a message and we will get back with you. Most importantly talk with those around you openly and about how you feel.

Parenthood with Anxiety part 2

Hello everyone,

I was recently asked to write about the stress and anxiety of parenthood. And let me tell you it can definitely be stressful and full of anxiety. There is no way of getting around that fact. There are a lot of things that can go wrong when you are a parent. However, there is also great joy that comes with being a parent.

I have a five-year-old daughter and I have had my fair share of stress. Before my daughter was born I was constantly second-guessing my ability to be a father. I was still in college and unsure about what I wanted to do with my life. I could barely take care of myself so how could I take care of a new life. I just didn’t know what I was going to do.

My daughter was actually born prematurely. She was literally just shy of a month early. It all began when my wife (girlfriend at the time) wasn’t feeling the baby move as much. We decided to be safe rather than sorry, so we went to the hospital just to get checked out. They hooked my wife up to a baby heart rate monitor to watch the baby's heart rate.

We were told that the decrease in activity isn’t uncommon and usually isn’t a bad sign. After a few hours, they decided that to be safe they wanted to keep my wife overnight just to monitor things and be extra sure everything was ok. So I went home and grabbed some things we would need for the night. When I got back we got ready for the night. Little did we know things would change in the morning.

We woke up and my wife’s OBGYN arrived to check on things. We found out that throughout the night the baby’s heart rate had dropped a few times throughout the night. After a few more tests it was decided that we would induce and have the baby early. That’s when the anxiety began to rise. We were not prepared to bring home our baby this early.

So the time came and they began to induce my wife for a natural birth. This, however, did not go as expected. The drug they had used to induce my wife had a negative effect on both my wife and baby. The baby’s heart rate began to drop even lower. They stopped the medicine they were using to induce the labor and decided to try it again later.

Well later came and they began the medicine again. During that afternoon there were four of us in the room. It was my wife, her mother, my mother, And myself. We were all tired and everyone was just trying to get sleep. That’s when the door flew open and the lights turned on. A full team of nurses and doctors rushed in and took my wife out quickly.

None of us had any idea what was going on. I have never been more afraid in my life then I was at that moment. That’s when an OBGYN who was visiting one of her own patients came up to me and asked if I was the father. I stuttered as I responded, yes. She handed me some oversized scrubs and told me to take my clothes off and put them on.

I asked what was going on and she said everything was OK but they were taking my wife back to perform an emergency c-section. That doctor was the one calming thing among the utter chaos. I couldn’t keep my thoughts straight. Is my baby OK? Is my wife OK? Will I leave here with both of them, one of them, or neither of them? I was on the brink of tears at this moment.

The doctor leads me down a dark hallway with a single chair sitting at the end. She told me to sit in the chair and wait for them to come get me. It was like something out of a movie. I sat in that chair for what felt like hours when in retrospect I was probably only in that chair for thirty seconds before a nurse came and got me. I was taken to my wife who was laying on a gurney with a partition over her stomach.

They sat me in a chair next to her and the only thing that was running through my head at that time was to remain calm for my wife. I didn’t want to show any fear or worry on my face. Then in no time, they had our baby out and into this world. They took her over to a table to clean her off and wrap her up. However, the only thing running through my mind was why isn’t she crying.

Then finally after what felt like a lifetime there, it was. The most beautiful sound. Her cry was like a wave of relief. They brought her over to us and that is when I held her for the first time. I held her so my wife could see what we brought into this world. However, that was not the end of our journey.

We were informed that her oxygen levels were low and they would need to put her on oxygen. They took her to the nursery where they proceeded to place a tiny oxygen tube in her nose. I was constantly moving between the nursery and my wife's room. This went on for a few days. I don’t think I managed more than an hour or two of sleep each night. There was the talk of moving our daughter to Children’s hospital in the city.

Each day I would ask the nurse in the nursery how my daughter was and how weaning her off the oxygen was going. She kept telling me the same thing. That when attempting to wean her off the oxygen they would have to increase it again to make sure her oxygen levels stayed up. At night while my wife would sleep I’d go down and stand over my daughter and just watch her.

I’d strike up a conversation with the night nurse and that bit of conversation was something that kept me sane. I can remember telling her that I hope that my daughter would respond better to weaning her off the oxygen tomorrow then she had that day. That’s when the nurse told me that they hadn’t begun weaning her off the oxygen yet. At this point I let my anger get the best of me. I demanded to speak with the pediatrician on hand at that time.

Within 15 mins the pediatrician was on hand and I began to talk with him. I went over how I was lied to and fed incorrect information. He looked over my daughter's charts and decided that they could begin to wean her off the oxygen. Within a few hours, our daughter was off the oxygen and in my wife's arms. The hardest part of her being in the nursery was the fact that my wife couldn’t hold her baby when she wanted to. She was still recovering herself.

A day later we were taking our baby home. We felt so much love and support during this time. That support was what allowed us to keep pushing forward through this stressful time. We were able to keep focusing on the future. We put what we had just gone through in our past.

Flash forward a few years and we suffered another fearful experience. One night our daughter was running a fairly high fever of 103. We gave her Tylenol in hopes to lower the fever. At that time it was the highest fever she had ever had. This was sometime after midnight. We decided that we would bring her to bed with us just to monitor her.

Shortly after beginning to fall back asleep we experienced a fear that rivaled her birth. She had a seizure. I don’t know how I kept so calm but I managed to have my wife call 911 while I proceeded to roll her to her side as to not swallow her tongue. At that time I’ve never been gladder that I decided to have taken a first aid course as to what you should do if someone has a seizure.

Within moments of our call first responders were at our house assisting our daughter who had begun to recover by that time. We are fortunate to live within a few blocks of the fire department and we have numerous volunteers that live within a few blocks of us as well. After speaking with the doctor it was decided that our daughter had suffered a febrile seizure. This occurs when a child usually under the age of 5 has a temperature that is too high for their body. The seizure is the body's way of essentially hitting the reset button.

Thankfully this was the only experience we had to go through of this. However, that fear has never left me. If anything it has made me more overprotective. It’s important that we protect our children but also let them fail. Without getting hurt they don’t gain the knowledge of how not to get hurt. I’ve managed to keep my anxiety in check mostly when dealing with parenthood. We can never escape the scares and fears of our child getting sick. We have to face these fears on a daily basis and keep them in check.

It’s important to understand that you are only human and will make mistakes. However, you also have to keep in mind that you know your child better than anyone else and that you trust your instinct. You can read every book on being a parent and you can take other's advice, however, when it comes down to your child you know what’s best for them. When I’m feeling anxious and my daughter is near we will just cuddle and turn on one of her shows. There is nothing more calming then getting to spend that quality time with her. I’m sure there is a photo or two of us just sleeping on the couch or in the recliner.

There is no way to escape those stressful situations or anxious moments. There is only ways to manage them and keep your calm. Make sure when you feel that your thoughts and emotions are starting to rise that you clear your mind and focus on what’s most important. Your child is your future and you are theirs. Embrace it and accept it, then enjoy your time with them as much as possible. It’s important that when you are feeling alone that you are not. They will always be there for you as long as you open up to them.

My daughter is fully aware that at times her daddy feels scared or worried. I’m just as open with her as I am to any of my friends, family, or coworkers. She will never look down on me and think I’m not a good father or that I’m a bad person. To her, I’m her daddy, her protector, and her best friend. She loves me for me and will never judge me otherwise. Even as she grows older I always remain open with her and show her how much I care for her and our family.

So if there is anything you can take away from this, I hope it helps. You are not alone in this and you are loved. Please talk to someone if you think you or someone you know may be going through something. Keep an open mind and push yourself. You can do this! I believe in you!

My Anxiety and Events

Hello everyone,

Today I wanted to talk about the anxiety I feel the day before a planned event and how I manage it. This won’t be too lengthy. Lately, when I’ve had a planned event I’ve experienced anxiety and sometimes severe anxiety. Typically I get this worrying feeling something bad will happen. It’s uncontrollable and usually unavoidable. It can be hard to face those feelings of worry but I have to push through and try to face that anxiety head-on.

You typically plan something out to avoid the stress of the unknown. For me at least that’s why I planned out vacations and events I was attending. Now even though I plan out how things should go there is still a worry for me. I worry about will there be large crowds which is something I struggle with. I tend to feel claustrophobic where there is a large group of people in a close-quarter.

I also think about how hot or cold it will be. What should I wear so I’m comfortable? I think about will the food there be something I can eat. I think about far too many things for my brain to process which is why I tend to feel anxious. I try to tell myself that things will be fine and to not worry about it. However, that rarely helps.

I find the best thing for me is to try to take my mind off it by distracting myself. Whether that is through meditation or watching a show. I try to keep a clear mind. It’s important to acknowledge the anxiety and then push yourself away rather than push it away. It’s not something that will go away but it can get better. It’s important to be aware that what you are feeling is just 1 small possibility out of an infinite amount of possibilities.

It’s easy for me to allow my thoughts to get the best of me. However, I need to focus on what’s important to me. I use the techniques I find best and I focus on my family.

Remember that if you have these thoughts or feeling that it’s important to communicate with that around you. Don’t keep them to yourself or it’ll just get worse. If you think that you might be suffering from something like anxiety, depression, or another mental health disorder please consider reaching out with your doctor, a therapist, or a psychologist. Remember that you are loved and there are people willing to help and I’m one of them.

Parenthood with Anxiety part 1

Being a parent with anxiety can be a difficult thing to go through. The first thing you think of is how can I make this as easy as possible for my child. Depending on the age of your child they most likely won’t understand what you're going through or how your feeling. It’s important to be open with them and try to help them understand. I’ll tell you what it was like for me and my daughter before and after I was diagnosed and what it’s like now after various methods to cope with my anxiety.

When I was first diagnosed with anxiety I began to become very withdrawn. First I became withdrawn from work, then social events, and finally my family. Before I was suffering from anxiety I would regularly play with my daughter and have daddy-daughter dates. It was an amazing, time we spent together couldn’t be compared to anything else. My every waking moment with her was spent enjoying our time together.

As my anxiety grew my frustrations would also grow. I began to take my frustrations out on her and that wasn’t right of me. I would raise my voice and asked to be left alone. When I was alone I felt so guilty for what I had said. I would tell her that “daddy just wants to be alone”. I was pushing one of the most important people away from me.

Some days when my wife would be working late, I’d put my daughter in her room with the TV on or her tablet and then isolate myself. I’d scroll through my Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter feed to try to find something to distract me from my anxious thoughts. You see I never isolated myself from her because I don’t love her. I isolated myself because I love her so much. It was my brain’s way of saying “if you do something she doesn’t like she will not love you anymore”.

That’s the power of anxiety. You can convince yourself that some of the tiniest things can have the greatest impact. I love my daughter and I’d do anything in the world for her. So I thought by shielding her away from my fears that I would somehow be helping her. In retrospect, I was only hurting my relationship with her.

Since I’ve been seeking help for my anxiety I’ve really opened up with my daughter to make sure she knows that daddy loves her. I remind myself to be more patient and to expect her to not understand how I feel. When I begin to feel irritated I do breathing exercises to calm myself. When I’m feeling anxious I tell her. I keep an open policy within my house. If I’m not feeling right I let it be known.

Now that I’ve been going through various methods of treating my anxiety I’ve completely regained my connection with my daughter. We’ve gone out on a daddy-daughter date to her school’s fall festival. We’ve made dinner together and planned to do many more things together. You see my reason to get better and seek help is because of my daughter and my family and friends.

If you feel like your losing a connection with someone close to you, don’t let yourself stay silent. Let them know how your feeling. Be open and honest and ask for help. You need to help yourself first. The first step in helping yourself is to realize that you have a problem and that it is OK. You are loved and there are so many people that are willing to help.

If you or someone you know has any suspected mental health disorders please reach out for help. You can check out the sources on the main page or reach out to me directly through the chat option. There are so many various methods of help and one of those is right for you. I hope you all enjoyed reading this post today. Have a good day and see you next time!

Effects of Anxiety on Friends and Family

Hello everyone, my name is Elizabeth Sutter. I am Joshua’s wife as of October 2018. We have been together for a total of almost seven years now. Josh has asked me to write a post about what it is like living with someone that suffers from anxiety. At first, I said yes not knowing what to write about. How do you explain what it is like to live with someone that suffers?

Anxiety is defined as a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome. For someone that does not suffer from anxiety, it is a hard concept for me to wrap my mind around. I am not going to lie here.

Josh started suffering from anxiety a little over a year ago. At first, I thought it may have just been stress from his job or just life in general. I would have never known that it would have led to being diagnosed with anxiety. I know other people that have anxiety, but they never really explained what it meant or how it affected them.

When Josh came to me and told me that he had anxiety, I wasn’t really sure what to think. We would be out in a social setting and it was almost as if he just shut down. I remember one episode very clearly. A few months ago, we were out at a farm near our house to walk through a sunflower maze. I remember being so excited to take our daughter through the maze. Josh had to get out of line because his stomach hurt and he was feeling anxious. We eventually ended up walking through the maze, but at that moment that he had to get out of line, I got so mad and upset. Looking back at this, it was selfish of me to even get upset about something like this. I didn’t understand that anything can set off his anxiety. Whether its crowds or just a thought that pops in his head.

I feel like that experience opened my eyes to what his anxiety was all about. I remember asking a friend who also suffers to explain things to me. Since then I have been trying to listen to Josh when he says he is feeling anxious or when he says he doesn’t feel good. I have learned to look for the signs that Josh shows. Just yesterday at a restaurant, the expression in his face turned. We were standing looking at the menu getting ready to order our food. I could tell just by looking at his face that Josh was feeling anxious.

Before I just thought these anxious feelings were just Josh stressing about something, and that the stress would just go away. Now I know that anxiety just doesn’t magically disappear. An individual needs to take measures to help alleviate the feelings of anxiety. Things that I noticed that have helped Josh are meditating and reflecting on things.

I know that I have a lot to learn when it comes to anxiety, but I know the signs to look for now when Josh is feeling anxious. There are times that I feel bad about snapping at him or rolling my eyes when he has had an attack in the past. Now I try to stay calm for him and reassure him that things will be alright. I try to practice patience because I understand that this is not something he can control or just turn off.

Josh, I want you to know that I am trying my best to understand what you are going through. I am trying my hardest to be patient with you and understand that there are going to be times that you do not get things done that I ask you, or that you do not want to go out because of your anxiety. I also want to say that I am very proud of you for starting this blog. This is a way for you to not only educate others but to help with your own anxiety. We have the rest of our lives together, and I want to be the best person I can for you and help you through any hardships anxiety may throw your way.

I want to share some advice with you if you know someone who suffers from anxiety. Take time to try and put yourself in their shoes. Learn what anxiety is about and take time to research it. Try not to let your emotions get in the way, and do not snap at them like I used to. That does not help the situation, it really only makes it worse. Try and sit down and talk to the person. Ask them what they are feeling or thinking about. If they want space, give it to them. Don’t be afraid to ask the person suffering questions about what it is like living with anxiety. This gives you a better perspective on what they are suffering from. Lastly, if you believe someone may be suffering from anxiety or any other mental illness who has not been diagnosed, don’t be afraid to sit down with them and ask to help them. That might just be the one thing they are looking for. Someone to help them get through this.