Being a parent with anxiety can be a difficult thing to go through. The first thing you think of is how can I make this as easy as possible for my child. Depending on the age of your child they most likely won’t understand what you're going through or how your feeling. It’s important to be open with them and try to help them understand. I’ll tell you what it was like for me and my daughter before and after I was diagnosed and what it’s like now after various methods to cope with my anxiety.
When I was first diagnosed with anxiety I began to become very withdrawn. First I became withdrawn from work, then social events, and finally my family. Before I was suffering from anxiety I would regularly play with my daughter and have daddy-daughter dates. It was an amazing, time we spent together couldn’t be compared to anything else. My every waking moment with her was spent enjoying our time together.
As my anxiety grew my frustrations would also grow. I began to take my frustrations out on her and that wasn’t right of me. I would raise my voice and asked to be left alone. When I was alone I felt so guilty for what I had said. I would tell her that “daddy just wants to be alone”. I was pushing one of the most important people away from me.
Some days when my wife would be working late, I’d put my daughter in her room with the TV on or her tablet and then isolate myself. I’d scroll through my Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter feed to try to find something to distract me from my anxious thoughts. You see I never isolated myself from her because I don’t love her. I isolated myself because I love her so much. It was my brain’s way of saying “if you do something she doesn’t like she will not love you anymore”.
That’s the power of anxiety. You can convince yourself that some of the tiniest things can have the greatest impact. I love my daughter and I’d do anything in the world for her. So I thought by shielding her away from my fears that I would somehow be helping her. In retrospect, I was only hurting my relationship with her.
Since I’ve been seeking help for my anxiety I’ve really opened up with my daughter to make sure she knows that daddy loves her. I remind myself to be more patient and to expect her to not understand how I feel. When I begin to feel irritated I do breathing exercises to calm myself. When I’m feeling anxious I tell her. I keep an open policy within my house. If I’m not feeling right I let it be known.
Now that I’ve been going through various methods of treating my anxiety I’ve completely regained my connection with my daughter. We’ve gone out on a daddy-daughter date to her school’s fall festival. We’ve made dinner together and planned to do many more things together. You see my reason to get better and seek help is because of my daughter and my family and friends.
If you feel like your losing a connection with someone close to you, don’t let yourself stay silent. Let them know how your feeling. Be open and honest and ask for help. You need to help yourself first. The first step in helping yourself is to realize that you have a problem and that it is OK. You are loved and there are so many people that are willing to help.
If you or someone you know has any suspected mental health disorders please reach out for help. You can check out the sources on the main page or reach out to me directly through the chat option. There are so many various methods of help and one of those is right for you. I hope you all enjoyed reading this post today. Have a good day and see you next time!
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